Valentine’s Day

Dear friends,

February can feel like the greyest month of the year, but then comes Valentine’s Day - a small, bright reminder that love, in all its forms, still finds a way to show up in our lives. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” Those who know me will recognise the extent to which I share this sentiment by Peanuts cartoon creator Charles M. Schulz.

What will you be doing on the 14th of February? Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? According to a YouGov poll, about 70% of British adults do – and if you’re a millennial you’re more likely to. For others, it can be a difficult and isolating time.

Valentine’s Day didn’t start as a celebration of romance at all. It began as a church feast day remembering early Christian martyrs called Valentine, with no clear link to love stories or weddings. The familiar tales about secret marriages and love letters came later. Despite what’s often claimed, it wasn’t a Christian version of Lupercalia; the romantic element developed through culture, poetry, and eventually commerce.

In medieval England and France, people believed birds paired up in mid-February, and poets like Chaucer ran with the idea, connecting Valentine’s Day to choosing a sweetheart. By the Victorian era, cheap printing and the Penny Post turned it into a booming card-sending tradition. Cards and flowers now dominate, but the day’s meaning has always been shaped as much by culture and commerce as by history or theology.

And yet, there is much to commend it. In busy lives, it’s easy to take partners for granted and let relationships become functional rather than joyous. Days like Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, and birthdays help us pause, focus on those we love, and recognise what truly matters.

Valentine’s Day also reminds us that love is wider than romance alone. For some, it can heighten loneliness, grief, or absence. Those who are singles, widowed, divorced, or whose love must remain quiet may find the day isolating. That is not a failure of love, but a reminder that society often celebrates only certain kinds of love.

At St James the Great we seek to be an inclusive church, open and welcoming to all loving, faithful relationships. Love takes many forms, and we celebrate its variety rather than fitting it into a single story. Valentine’s Day can be a reminder that love is sacred wherever it is found, and that our community is a place where everyone can feel seen and valued.

Christianity has always understood love as broader and braver than romance alone. Jesus spoke of attention, generosity, forgiveness, and faithfulness - showing up for each other in ordinary, unglamorous moments. St Paul’s words about love being patient and kind were written for everyday communities, not weddings. Christian love is rarely convenient; it challenges us to notice the overlooked, step beyond comfort, and act when we might rather stay silent.

Perhaps Valentine’s Day can help us notice the love that doesn’t fit the glossy image: friendships that carry us through dark seasons, care given day by day without recognition, love sustained across borders or differences. These forms of love endure and shape lives.

So perhaps the question Valentine’s Day leaves us with is not simply whether we feel loved, but how willing we are to practise love ourselves. Not the easy, sentimental version, but the kind that pays attention, makes space, and refuses to look away. And if, in the midst of all that, there happens to be a card, a meal, or, dare I suggest a little chocolate, we can receive that gladly too!

Best wishes

Andrew

@revagf.bsky.social