Love to be shared

Dear friends,

The Church of England has abandoned proposals for same-sex blessing ceremonies. Certainly, that was the headline in the media back in February. It’s true that a very lengthy process involving parish churches around the country was put to an end by the Archbishop of York. But it’s not true. Same sex couples can receive a blessing in the church. Here at St James’, we continue to celebrate and pray with couples of all backgrounds and stories, and remain committed to being a church where people encounter love, welcome and dignity.

Prayers of love and faith were granted to Catherine Bond and Jane Pearce on Sunday morning, celebrating their shared “love and friendship” and “commitment to one another”.

I wrote last year that there is something extraordinary about a church wedding.  I never quite lose the sense of anticipation that fills the building beforehand. Relatives hover nervously in corners, photographers scout the best shots, and somewhere nearby somebody is always asking where the rings have gone.

The rehearsal a couple of nights before is often wonderfully revealing. The groom, full of bravado, strolls into church joking loudly with his friends, convinced the whole thing will be straightforward. Then the wedding day arrives.

Something changes.

As the music begins and the reality of what is happening settles upon everyone, even the most confident groom suddenly looks rather vulnerable. More than once I’ve watched a man who was entirely composed at the rehearsal become overwhelmed with emotion as his partner walks down the aisle. There is something deeply moving about witnessing: in that moment, all the performance falls away and what remains is authentic love.

And that is why these services matter so much.

One of the great joys of modern church weddings is that couples are able to shape services which genuinely reflect who they are. Gone are the days when every ceremony felt identical. We’ve had chamber quartets filling the church with breathtaking music, couples dancing down the aisle, processions to themes from Marvel films. We’ve heard readings from Shakespeare and Winnie-the-Pooh. The beauty of these occasions is that they tell the story of particular people. No two couples are the same, and love itself is wonderfully varied. The church at its best has always made space for that.

That is why I find it so important to say clearly: St James’ continues to welcome same-sex couples and continues to offer prayers and blessings for them. Whatever noise may swirl around nationally, our calling locally remains unchanged.

For Christians, inclusion is not about following trends or winning arguments online. It is rooted in the conviction that every person is made in the image of God and worthy of love, prayer and belonging. Jesus consistently drew close to those others pushed away. Again and again throughout the Gospels, he creates community where others create barriers.

One of the privileges of parish ministry is witnessing the sheer breadth of human love stories. We meet couples who found each other young and couples who found each other much later in life. Those who have endured illness together, grief together, distance together and all the unpredictability life can bring. Some arrive at church radiant with confidence; others arrive quietly wondering if there could really be a place for them.

There is.

If the walls of St James’ could speak, they would tell stories stretching across centuries: nervous hands clasped at the altar rail, tears quickly wiped away during vows, laughter during speeches, promises whispered with trembling voices. And every generation adds new stories to those ancient stones.

That is the joy of being a village church. We are not simply preserving a building or maintaining traditions for their own sake. We are holding open a space where human love, in all its richness and diversity, can be celebrated before God.

So amidst all the headlines and debates, perhaps the simplest thing to say is this: the doors remain open.

And inside, as ever, there is music, prayer, laughter, emotion and love.

Andrew

@revagf.bsky.social

PS To find out more about holding a celebration of love Colwall or in Coddington, email colwallchurch@outlook.com or phone 01684 540330