Embracing all couples and their stories

Dear friends,

It’s wedding season! There’s nothing like a traditional English village church wedding, it has captured the imagination of little girls (and boys!) for decades. And on a wedding day, when I enter the church after the flower team have worked their magic, the excitement builds. That day is usually the culmination of months of planning, decision making, budgeting and, let’s be honest, increasing anxiety. It’s a day when friends take different roles, often doing things out of their comfort zone and for the first time. A time when even the shyest of bride and groom are thrust into the limelight.

As the priest marrying the couple, there can be wonderful moments of intimacy during the service. It’s as if the congregation, the videographer – everything – vanishes, and its just two people declaring their love and commitment to each other. And of course this is the crux of the wedding season. The wedding breakfasts, receptions, cars and cake are lovely but meaningless without this act of love and commitment. It is in those moments when everyone else is passive, there’s nothing anyone can do but watch love become entwined.

Last year St James’s Church voted unanimously to extend this invitation of love to those in same sex relationships. Parliament explicitly banned the Church of England from conducting same-sex weddings and whilst there are moves to change that, it’s unlikely to happen any time soon. However, the Church of England now allows us to celebrate those in such relationships and this is something we’re keen to offer as the village church. There has always been something quite perverse that a priest could bless a warship but not a loving couple and, thankfully, that has changed.

Of course, there will be some who will decide that this is “woke” – often without ever defining what that means. Yet at its heart, for Christians inclusion is not a political trend, it’s a theological imperative. Scripture tells us that “God shows no partiality” (Acts 10:34), and that in Christ, “there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). We are called to look beyond labels and divisions, and instead to see each person as made in the image of God and equally worthy of dignity, love, and belonging.

© Ketut Subiyanto

Friends, I wrote before about my fear of the growing political movements across the world that look alarmingly similar to 1930s Germany. Over the last few weeks, we’ve seen Pride parades banned in Hungary, likewise books with LGBT characters. We’ve seen narratives in the UK turn against Trans people, often fuelled by misunderstanding the High Court. There’s an increasing populist agenda against LGBT people, particularly on social media. Last month was Pride and it’s probably more important now than it has been for years. The rights, freedoms and acceptance fought for over decades seems fragile – debates over repealing the Equality Act and the European Convention on Human Rights – are political games that have real impact on people’s lives.

Jesus’ ministry was defined by his embrace of the excluded. He ate with tax collectors, spoke with women others shunned, touched lepers, and healed those left on the margins. He created community where others saw scandal. This is the model for our life together: a church that is not a club for the like-minded, but a home for all people. And fundamentally, St James’ is the village church and needs to reflect the whole village, not just those of us who attend each week.

Celebrating love knows no boundaries: we embrace all couples and their stories. Over the years we’ve had some amazing stories as couples have celebrated love that has endured significant illness, long and complicated lives and life’s challenges. We’ve witnessed as young couples come together as one before their friends and family; parents renew wedding vows before their children and grandchildren; and couples who didn’t think they’d find love again, find each other.

If the walls of St James could speak, they’d speak of centuries of wonderful love. And now we add even more love, by being even more welcoming and bringing even more stories.

Cheers!

Andrew

@revagf.bsky.social

PS To find out more about holding a celebration of love at St James the Great, contact the parish office.